Home HAPPY HOME.........

By,

Shubham Srivastava.

                There are very few things or persons which/who we love unconditionally. When we gain consciousness for the first time in our life at the age of 4 or 5; we start to learn, we start to feel, we start to experience different kind of things. Precisely we remember almost everything since we became conscious. There are some exceptions which we don't remember but still we do the same as we have been doing it since our birth because these things don't need any condition or consciousness. They are free from all kind of bonds and these things are - our love and respect for our parents, our love and mutual respect for siblings, our love and respect for our beloved nation and our home.

                I have realized that a lot have been written and said about parents, nation, brothers and sisters. I feel like they deserve this but does our home not deserve these sayings and writings? We talk a lot about moms, dads and nation. It feels like they have stolen a little bit of credit what our home deserves to be credited for what we are today. After all we have spent larger proportion of our time of our life in that house. Where we started to walk, where we started to walk, where we learnt to write alphabets and numbers. The place that is the base of our upbringing and the place that knows some of our secrets which neither our family knows nor do our friends. The secret which is only between you and your home. It has seen everything whatever has happened to you and your family. The only place or the only thing that remains constant among all the changes taking place in our life. When we first go out of our town for study or for job, we miss that place but after some time we get used to it and after some years when we return to our home, we don't feel same what we used to feel when we left it because a part of ours is still in that town where we are currently living but we don't realize it and think that this house has changed, this is not the same home where we used to live some years ago but believe me! It never changes.

                  When you return home after a while, even it smells the same and you can't deny it that your house has a smell that makes it unique among all the houses in the world and here, moms deserve credit for maintaining that smell in your bed, in your pillows, in your wardrobe and everywhere in the house. It's because you have changed, you feel like everything has changed. I know that you love your home but how many time you have expressed it? You might find it funny that how can it be expressed to a non living entity but there are ways to express it. I am not going to tell you, you have to choose yourself the right way to express your love for your home because when that expression will come form your inner side, that expression will be the real one and that will be truly yours which will be only owned by you and last but not the least, as we give credit to our mom and dad for whatever we are; just take a leaf from that book of credit and give it to your home because there will be a day when none of your parents would be alive and that house will share your grief with you and the same pattern will follow with you and your children. Everything will change with time but that home will be the only entity which will remain constant from your ancestors to your posterity.

Life and an endless sequence of stories.

By,
Shubham Srivastava.

                Civilizations vary from continent to continent and even from country to country. Be it attires, dialects, cuisines, religions, the form of ruling in one's country like democracy, bureaucracy, autocracy, plutocracy, aristocracy, monarchy but among all these things; there are also some common things which remain the same as they were years ago irrespective of geographical locations. The very first and most important one is that we all are humans and everyone here is playing their part for their personal goals. The second most important common aspect is the truth. Truth will remain truth regardless of its location and chronology. The third one is stories. Everywhere on the Earth, i still believe that grannies still use to recite stories to their grandchildren in night upto a certain age. Though i was quite unsure about it that like Indian Subcontinent where kids can't sleep without listening one or two stories, does it also happen in every part of the world? From various experiences like movies from west in which i saw granny was reciting story to her granddaughter, i came to know that it happens everywhere. This was only an example of stories because i am not here to talk about fantasies which are told by our grandparents or parents to help us sleep. What i am going to talk here is little intense but its about stories.

                Life is nothing but a story. A narrative of connected events through various stages of life. Our every good or bad experience is based on a story; either it is ours or someone else's.
So what i am trying to convey here is being judgemental is never going to be good enough for anyone. This is not the way how we should treat life where everything is a story or a part of story. It must have happened to you before that any person who you admire and vice-versa comes to you and asks for a suggestion on something like he/she has rift with someone so what should be done? Should he/she continue with that person or not? To be honest it feels good when someone asks for advice especially who we admire and in the flow of that; being their benefactor, we jump to conclusion and give some rubbish advice to that person just because he/she told us a story in which he/she plays a victim part. 

                 Here the point is very simple. Since life is a story and story is a connected series of events. Whenever we listen a story, we only listen a part of it. We only listen a limited set of events. What we don't realize is that this story has come from somewhere and is going somewhere. We have only listened a limited part. Neither we know it's beginning nor are we going to stay in it till the end so why be in haste? Though it's true that when someone asks you for advice then they start it from beginning but the fact is that you have only listened a single side of story in which two or more than two persons were involved. The second thing is when you are asked for an advice when a person has told you a story in different frame of mind. Things were never same in the beginning, nor were the circumstances but now since that person is in mental trauma and stress where he/she only wants someone in his/her side to feel good; he/she will only tell that version of a story in which he/she will only seem affected and victimized.
            
                   What about the other person who is also involved in the story? Have you listened to his/her side of story. No you haven't and even if you will listen then you will only listen to that story through your friend's perspective and that is not going to play a helping part to that relationship. Here the point is again very simple. The persons who have actually played their respective parts in story have the right to decide that what should be done with mutual understanding because you have not felt what they have felt and you were not present every time in that story and even if you have missed 1% of that story that you have no right to decide that what should be done even if one of those persons is very close to you. Its also because if you do it once for him/her then he/she will always come to you for advice and it will never help him/her to stand by alone with strength. Your suggestions will only make him/her vulnerable with time. Help that person in his/her growth. Your responsibility is much more than what you think for this world. Your responsibility should never be limited to a person regardless of how close you two are.

                     The same theory applies with your own self in term of stories. In your story you are the constant part of it where you feel you presence every time. Its your story. So whenever a trouble comes, be it in a relationship or any other aspect of life. Solve it yourself and as far as possible, don't ask anyone for advice because no one is going to feel it as you have felt throughout in this story then how can anyone decide on behalf of you? Realize your strength because it's your story and even if you will take a wrong decision; at least it is yours so it won't hurt as much as if you take advice from someone and it doesn't come good. The sooner you will make a mistake, the sooner you learn and it's a blessing in disguise. Never think about your mistakes as a curse because it is yours and whatever is yours is lovable, isn't it?

                       So where we are playing a part in a story where everything is connected somehow; don't be in haste in terms of  making decisions. Your story is as important as someone else's and even more important for yourself because this story is nothing but your life and no one or nothing can be above life itself.

So feel blissful and enjoy Life. May god bless you!!! bbyeee......
         


                

Why does Pain demand to be felt ???

By,

                                Shubham Srivastava.

                 Just a few days ago, i watched an awesome movie "The Fault In Our Stars". When i was watching it, i came across a quote which says that -

         "That's the thing about pain. It demands to be felt"

Who wants pain? Perhaps nobody but still everybody gets it sooner or later. It never matters that if you are a man with golden heart, if one is rich or poor, if one is good or evil, if one is healthy or unhealthy, if one is rational or insane, if one is in love or in hatred, if one is accepted or denied, if one has gotten everything or nothing, if one has family or not and if one is you or i. Pain has spared nobody.

           There are three questions which have arisen here. Let's start with the first one.

          From where does pain come from?

 Let me mention first that this is the simplest of all three questions but yet there are some nuances.
          Pain of course comes from bad things but it is not necessary because in some cases, good things also cause pain. It's like a ratio of 95:5. It means that if pain is caused by bad things 95 times  then it is also caused by good things 5 times.
You shall be thinking that getting pain because of bad things is quite lucid ( easy to understand ) but how is it possible to get pain because of good things? Let's take an example. Suppose you are going to temple/church/mosque for your own happiness, your own inner peace. You went there, you prayed and you felt good but when you are on your way of returning home in your car and  you are driving yourself; suddenly a man comes in front of your car from nowhere and an accident takes place. That man gets injured and that's the point. Though your intentions were good but still bad thing happened and you start to feel guilty inside and that accident takes away your inner peace.

             But yeah! It can be said that pain has more to do with bad things and less to do with good things. Here we saw that from where does pain come from; though getting pain from good things is quite rare and getting pain from bad things is spontaneous so the next question is -

             Why do bad things happen?

Have you ever thought about it? I thought about bad things a lot and what i feel is that happening of BAD THINGS in our life has three prospects. BAD THINGS can happen because of either of the prospects. 
              
             First one is KARMA. A quote says that Karma has no menu; you get served what you deserve and it is right. If we do bad then bad will come to us somehow sometime in our further life. If we do only good but still get bad then this is because our Karma is related to each other. Consider an example where a newly divorced couple is fighting over the custody of their newborn child. That child is only 6 months old and he has done nothing bad yet but still he has to suffer and he will be left with many questions by his parents. If mom gets custody then plenty of unanswered questions about dad and if dad gets custody then questions about mom. Just think that if you are searching for something in your room and that is missing like your mobile phone; you get tensed then how much restlessness that child will have to face in his future just because of his parents' deeds.

              Second one is the DUAL NATURE OF UNIVERSE. Most of the things in this universe exist only because of their dual nature. Like male-female, happiness-sadness, light-dark and many more things. So are the good and the bad things. If one has taken birth here then one has to go trough both phases, doesn't matter how good or evil that person is.

               Third one is the most important one. An English ethologist, evolutionary and biologist RICHARD DAWKINS in his book "THE MAGIC OF REALITY: How We Know what's Really True" says that - 
              BAD THINGS, LIKE GOOD THINGS DON'T HAPPEN ANY MORE OFTEN THAN THEY OUGHT TO BE BY CHANCE. THE UNIVERSE HAS NO MIND, NO FEELINGS, NO PERSONALITY, SO IT DOESN'T DO THINGS IN ORDER OF HURT OR PLEASE YOU. BAD THINGS HAPPEN BECAUSE THINGS HAPPEN.

So these were the three prospects of bad things taking place in life. Thanks to Mr. Richard Dawkins. He is just phenomenal in his own ways.
and last but not the least; the third and the most classic question.

               Why does Pain demand to be felt?

 If we look at it from biological aspect then it demands to be felt because of it's vulnerable nature. We have neuron cells in our body which transmit different kind of signals to our brain. If we get an injury then only because of these cells; we get to know that we are injured. If these cells will be missing from our body, we would never come to know about different kind of health anomalies in our own body like disease, injuries, wounds because in case of missing those cells, it won't pain anymore but our body would be in state of deterioration which can lead to death eventually.

                And if it is being looked at from a common aspect but yet a critical aspect then also pain demands to be felt. Like a quote says that WHEN ONE GOES THROUGH A BROKEN RELATIONSHIP THEN IT HURTS BUT ONE THING ALSO GETS CLEAR THAT WHAT YOU WANT AND WHAT YOU DON'T AND YOU WILL BE MORE ATTENTIVE NEXT TIME BEFORE GETTING INTO A RELATIONSHIP.

Until we won't feel pain, we won't get remedy either.
               If you have done a very big mistake; doesn't matter intentionally or unintentionally. If you don't feel bad, if you don't pine away for few days, if you don't scramble with your own self, if you don't get flustered by your mistake; until then you won't be able to learn a lesson that what you have to do and what is not needed from the very next time. If you are not feeling pain inside for your mistakes or if someone has deceived you in a bad manner, you will get yourself in trouble every time.

So never try to kill your mental pain which you are feeling inside. If you are in physical pain then go and get a pain killer and you will get relief in probably no time but in case of mental pain; never kill your pain, i repeat NEVER. Start to live your Pain as much as you can because that's the only way of getting remedy which will be effective for long time or for whole life.

                 A quote says that LESSONS IN LIFE WILL BE REPEATED UNTIL YOU DON'T LEARN IT. So if you have to learn the lesson for any certain issue then start to live the pain first. Don't run away from it. The more you will live the pain, the sooner will you get solutions for your problems and remedy for your pain. An another quote says that -

                   
                WHEN PAIN BECOMES UNBEARABLE THEN IT BECOMES REMEDY IN ITSELF.

The more you will feel pain, the more will it become unbearable and then you will get your all answers and yes! if you have not watched the movie '' THE FAULT IN OUR STARS'' then please watch it and you too will get some lessons.

May God bless you!!! Bbyee.........